Once again I need to recommend a website that I just found. It has parents reviews to many american and international schools around the world. Hope you enjoy it.
International Schools Review
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Mea Culpa
It's been over a year since we started something that we thought would be our craziest idea ever, the super commute. And it's working so much better then we predicted.
After my last visit to Mexico we both realized that we just wouldn't have been happier with me and the kids living there. I would be complaining about all the things you already know, would be frustrated and driving my husband crazy with all the drama because, let's face it, no husband can stand an unhappy wife complaining all the time. It would also not have been that easy on the kids. Here they are at a good school and practicing sports at a different level than what I've seen in Mexico City. My husband really enjoys going to the beach every weekend, breathing fresh air, not having to fight traffic. And the flights are not too bad at all. He spends less time flying then he would spend driving, so we end up spending more time with him. And quality time, which is more important.
So I need to make a mea culpa and say thank you to HR and the relocation company. Their F--k up was the best thing that happened to us. It wasn't easy to fix everything and to get to this point. But things are working out. It's not the ideal situation but we know it will end soon. We can't wait to be together again as a family, but in the mean time we're enjoying life as it is.
After my last visit to Mexico we both realized that we just wouldn't have been happier with me and the kids living there. I would be complaining about all the things you already know, would be frustrated and driving my husband crazy with all the drama because, let's face it, no husband can stand an unhappy wife complaining all the time. It would also not have been that easy on the kids. Here they are at a good school and practicing sports at a different level than what I've seen in Mexico City. My husband really enjoys going to the beach every weekend, breathing fresh air, not having to fight traffic. And the flights are not too bad at all. He spends less time flying then he would spend driving, so we end up spending more time with him. And quality time, which is more important.
So I need to make a mea culpa and say thank you to HR and the relocation company. Their F--k up was the best thing that happened to us. It wasn't easy to fix everything and to get to this point. But things are working out. It's not the ideal situation but we know it will end soon. We can't wait to be together again as a family, but in the mean time we're enjoying life as it is.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Repatriation
I've already talked about repatriation on my "Life After Expat" post. Once again I came across a great article that I felt like sharing with you.
Here is the link:
Global HR
Here is the link:
Global HR
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Eternal Traveler Syndrome
I just read this 2 articles and felt the need to share it with you. One is in spanish and the other one is in english. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Raven.Org
Mutilingual Living
Raven.Org
Mutilingual Living
Thursday, January 12, 2012
My "Happy Place" in Mexico City
On our second day there, the kids and I decided to take it easy and go to the Santa Fe Mall. They went to Kidzania, or Ciudad de Los Ninos. The driver stayed with them so I could go get my nails done at the Palacio de Hierro. They have a spa there. The spa wan't very nice, I was expecting a nicer place judging by all the nice boutiques they have inside the store, but the manicure did a good job. Palacio de Hierro tries to be the mexican version of Saks 5th Avenue. There is a Saks at the Santa Fe Mall, and that was my "happy place" during my Mexico stay. Just being somewhere familiar with my cup of starbucks latte made my day better.
The kids had a great time at Kidzania. And having the driver there to translate for them was a good idea. On that day the place wasn't very crowded so they had enough time to do all the activities they wanted. Here are some pictures of Kidzania:
After the mall we went to the supermarket, Superama, to buy some food and water. if you, like me, loves salad, you're in trouble. The vegetables in Mexico City are not the best. During our whole stay I did not have a decent salad. The lettuce was always a little bit brown. So we bought bread, peanut butter, jelly, bagels, cream cheese, yogurt, things that we couldn't go wrong with.
We still did go out to eat. We went to Izote, a modern mexican restaurant in Polanco that was excellent! I had chicken with an almond mole that was delicious, the kids had the chicken without the mole and my husband had ceviche as an appetizer and another fish as his main course and he also enjoyed his meal. The deserts were very good too. It was really nice to end the day in such a high note.
The kids had a great time at Kidzania. And having the driver there to translate for them was a good idea. On that day the place wasn't very crowded so they had enough time to do all the activities they wanted. Here are some pictures of Kidzania:
After the mall we went to the supermarket, Superama, to buy some food and water. if you, like me, loves salad, you're in trouble. The vegetables in Mexico City are not the best. During our whole stay I did not have a decent salad. The lettuce was always a little bit brown. So we bought bread, peanut butter, jelly, bagels, cream cheese, yogurt, things that we couldn't go wrong with.
We still did go out to eat. We went to Izote, a modern mexican restaurant in Polanco that was excellent! I had chicken with an almond mole that was delicious, the kids had the chicken without the mole and my husband had ceviche as an appetizer and another fish as his main course and he also enjoyed his meal. The deserts were very good too. It was really nice to end the day in such a high note.
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Basilica and the Pyramid
On our first day of vacation, we decided to go to the Pyramids. I always wanted to go there, but did not have time on the other trips. I also mentioned to the driver that I would like to go to the Virgin de Guadalupe Church and he suggested we went to see both on the same day since the "Basilica" is on the way to the pyramids. And so we did, the kids, the driver and I. it took about 40 minutes to get there.
The neighborhood where the churches are is a little rough. I say the churches because there are several churches at the same site. All of them have been home to the image of the Virgin. Well, we couldn't park at the churches parking lot because many streets were closed. We parked a few blocks away and had to walk thru a street market to get there. I did not feel very safe walking around with the kids and I won't bring them back if I have to return there. We visited 4 churches but decided not to climb the mountain. We had to save some energy for the pyramids. I thought we would see a statue of the virgin but all we saw was a painting.
After visiting the churches we headed to the Pyramids. It took us about an hour to get there and the drive wasn't so bad. We decided not to hire a guide, I had studied some history before the trip to explain things to the kids and we wanted the freedom to go wherever and whenever we wanted to- the guides were charging 500 pesos to foreigners and 200 pesos to locals but you can negotiate the local price but they only spoke spanish.
The pyramids were impressive. We were told by a local that we had to climb them in a zig zag pattern not to upset the Gods. And so we did not to take any chances. We got to the top tired. The kids had to take a couple of breaks, but we were glad we climbed. Going down was much easier. We also visited the museum. Then it was time to have lunch and go back to Mexico City and try to avoid traffic.
I just got back From Mexico City
My husband had to work during Christmas week, so we decided to spend Christmas and New year in Mexico City. I'll be posting more pictures soon and I'll also let you know how I kept the kids and myself entertained for 2 weeks.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Globalization and Adaptation
I've been discussing a bit about globalization and how to adapt to a new culture, recently. Basically there are two point of views. One is to try to completely integrate and assimilate the new culture and the other is to mix two or more cultures as a way to adapt.
Lots of times HR for multinational companies will have people coming to talk about how people should adapt to different cultures. They preach that you not only need to learn the language but also try to assimilate as much of the new culture as you possibly can. They say: when in Rome, do as the romans do. This way you'll be more effective and get everything done easier.
From a wife point of view, I beg to differ. I believe that we do need to learn the new language - for practical reasons and for having the chance to do so. But I loved learning different languages since I was a child. Learning the language of the country you chose to move to will make your life easier. And even tough I ended up not moving to Mexico I am now fluent in spanish. About assimilating the culture, there are certain aspects that you will have to assimilate and some that you don't. My family likes brazilian and mexican food, but we would still bring lots of maple syrup and cereal back home. We also had to adapt to the time concept - what's considered late here in not considered late in other places. Lunch and dinner times are also different. It is not a good or a bad thing. it's different. And if you want to have a social life you need to adapt. But I would keep some traditions, like celebrating halloween throwing a big party. I trust the dentists in the US better. I will not drink coffee at night. I can adapt and assimilate a bit, but I also need to keep my sense of self.
From a professional point of view, I don't agree when they tell expats to act as locals at work. To me this is a big mistake. First of all, they couldn't find a local to do that specific job. Hint bringing an expat to get the job done. Second, most companies who send expats abroad are american companies. So how about speaking english at the meetings until the expat has had the chance to learn the local language? Many times english is the official language of the companies but many people will refuse to speak english. Third, in places like Sao Paulo, for example, people would work until the wee hours. If you value your family time and are used to work from 8 to 5, leaving at 6 is ok but leaving at 8 is unthinkable. How about holding more efficient meetings and saving time? Many times people on the local operations forget that they need to report to the home office. That the home office is the entity who allows them to exist and funds them. They don't call the shots, the home office does and also implement the changes. If the locals don't like it they should work for a local company.
As a dear friend once put it, he's not an exchange student. He's an expat who was relocated to get a job done. He needs to understand the country and how they operate so he can fix the problems and get the job the home office wants done, done. If he does things the way they were being done before there would be no need for him to have been sent there in the first place. So take the good out of the country and operation and discard the bad. There's always a lot of good.
Lots of times HR for multinational companies will have people coming to talk about how people should adapt to different cultures. They preach that you not only need to learn the language but also try to assimilate as much of the new culture as you possibly can. They say: when in Rome, do as the romans do. This way you'll be more effective and get everything done easier.
From a wife point of view, I beg to differ. I believe that we do need to learn the new language - for practical reasons and for having the chance to do so. But I loved learning different languages since I was a child. Learning the language of the country you chose to move to will make your life easier. And even tough I ended up not moving to Mexico I am now fluent in spanish. About assimilating the culture, there are certain aspects that you will have to assimilate and some that you don't. My family likes brazilian and mexican food, but we would still bring lots of maple syrup and cereal back home. We also had to adapt to the time concept - what's considered late here in not considered late in other places. Lunch and dinner times are also different. It is not a good or a bad thing. it's different. And if you want to have a social life you need to adapt. But I would keep some traditions, like celebrating halloween throwing a big party. I trust the dentists in the US better. I will not drink coffee at night. I can adapt and assimilate a bit, but I also need to keep my sense of self.
From a professional point of view, I don't agree when they tell expats to act as locals at work. To me this is a big mistake. First of all, they couldn't find a local to do that specific job. Hint bringing an expat to get the job done. Second, most companies who send expats abroad are american companies. So how about speaking english at the meetings until the expat has had the chance to learn the local language? Many times english is the official language of the companies but many people will refuse to speak english. Third, in places like Sao Paulo, for example, people would work until the wee hours. If you value your family time and are used to work from 8 to 5, leaving at 6 is ok but leaving at 8 is unthinkable. How about holding more efficient meetings and saving time? Many times people on the local operations forget that they need to report to the home office. That the home office is the entity who allows them to exist and funds them. They don't call the shots, the home office does and also implement the changes. If the locals don't like it they should work for a local company.
As a dear friend once put it, he's not an exchange student. He's an expat who was relocated to get a job done. He needs to understand the country and how they operate so he can fix the problems and get the job the home office wants done, done. If he does things the way they were being done before there would be no need for him to have been sent there in the first place. So take the good out of the country and operation and discard the bad. There's always a lot of good.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Expat Relationships
I have been a little neglectful with the blog. I haven't written in a while. In part because I've been busy - life is back to business as usual - and in part because I've been running out of ideas for topics. But this week I got a few e-mails that made me very concerned and feeling like bringing back this discussion here.
Some wives have been asking me questions about how to deal with an abusive expat husband. This is such a hard subject to discuss. Every case is different so it is very hard to give an advice. Plus, I am a firm believer that no one has the right to be abusive towards another human being - a wife, a child, a friend, an employee, it doesn't matter. And most of the times the abuse is psychological and not physical. And it can happen both ways too. Sometimes the wives are the ones abusing the husbands. And I am not a psychologist nor a marriage counselor. I did study family and divorce laws but I am a corporate lawyer.
For physical abuse I have only one advice. Get help! Go look for a lawyer. And then the police. Find out what the abuse and divorce laws are in the country you're in. Ask for help at the consulate. Talk to a psychologist or a marriage counselor. Talk to your parents, siblings or your best friend. No one should put up with this case of abuse. In my book, physical abuse in unacceptable. Period.
Regarding the emotional abuse, the most common complaints I've been getting are that the husband is less caring, or that he won't let the wife move back home or that the works and travels too much and stopped caring about the family's needs.
First, if he's less caring, find a baby sitter and go out for a nice dinner. Talk to him. LISTEN to him. See if it is because he's having a hard time at work and/or adapting to the culture. I've seen this happen quite a few times and you know men, most of them don't like to talk about these issues. It could also be your attitude that's bugging him, if you're being very negative. Or not. Maybe your marriage wasn't that good to begin with and taking on this challenge is bringing you apart. once again I suggest a psychologist or a marriage counselor visit. Don't give up! Try to work things out. Be supportive.
Second, if you are thinking about moving back home you have to weight in the consequences. You need to figure out exactly why you want to move back. Why can't you suck it up for a while and stay? You may be damaging your husbands career if you demand that he leaves before his term is over. Can you do the super commute? Is your live going to be better living apart? Can you handle the distance and what comes with it? Are you going to be happier? I know a person who destroyed her husbands career by making him move back earlier. I talked about her before. Me, I decided not to move to Mexico because my husband and I did not want to compromise on the school for our kids. It wasn't an easy decision but we were on the same page. And we made this decision before the company spent a lot of money relocating us there. They spend the same amount of money to send us here then they would have spent to send us to Mexico. And we were up front about the school It did not come as a surprise for anyone. If you really want to give up and move back you may be jeopardizing your marriage. Once again, look for help. Talk to friends, family or a professional.
Third, your family moved and still you don't get to spend quality time because of the work schedule. You can't see the benefits of moving if you're alone most of the time. Plus, is the travel schedule only for work or is your husband connecting the weekends to those trips to golf or fish for example? Spending voluntary time alone, in my opinion, is a big red flag. Why would he want to do it? Who is he spending his time with? Once again, talk to a psychologist or counselor, a friend or family member. Someone you really trust. And a divorce attorney, just in case.
Fourth, your relationship isn't working because someone is cheating. Unfortunately this happens often. Once again, go get help. Lawyer, family and friends. An excellent lawyer, if I may say so.
I am a firm believer that everyone who moves overseas should learn what the divorce laws are in that country. As an attorney myself, I always live by: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst! If you can, draw an agreement before you even move. My main concern is regarding the kids custody. Some countries have crazy laws about who gets to keep the children and visitation rights.And some have good laws protecting the wife in case the men cheat. So it doesn't hurt knowing what you're getting yourself into.
I am also a firm believer in looking for help. Sometimes just venting things out to someone you trust and listening to them can be a huge help. And having and honest talk to your spouse afterwards can solve all the problems. You may be seen a problem where there's none. It could be that the whole relocation process is overwhelming.
If you really believe with all your heart that things aren't working out anymore and the situation won't get better or is unbearable, you should consider divorce. You need to go after your happiness and the happiness of your children. But go prepared. Know exactly what you're getting yourself into. And also know that it won't be an easy decision or an easy path. But long term it can be the best one. Everybody is entitled to and should be happy. And sometimes finding happiness is not easy. Be true to yourself. It sounds cliche - and it is - but listen to your heart.
More than anything, I believe in love. And in long term relationships. I know it is not easy to achieve it. It takes lots of will, patience, tolerance, work, trust, courage... (feel free to add up to this list!) Don't give up on your relationship so easily. It is worth fighting for a happy marriage. Bring back some happiness, fun, fire and excitement into your life. Get a family member or a friend to babysit and go for a second honeymoon or a weekend get-away only with your husband. Have the housekeeper stay overnight with the kids and spend a friday night at a hotel - make sure to order breakfast from room-service the next morning. If you're on a tighter budget send the kids to a sleepover, make a special diner, put on a new nightgown and turn your bedroom into a boudoir. Rekindle the romance. And after you take this first step, make sure to keep making time for each other. My husband and I had weekly lunches on Thursdays or Fridays. And a night out alone and one with friends. It brought us closer. Even now, with the super commute we always manage to find time for ourselves. We have lunch on Fridays. Don't give up!! There's nothing better and worth fighting for then to have a happy and united family!
Some wives have been asking me questions about how to deal with an abusive expat husband. This is such a hard subject to discuss. Every case is different so it is very hard to give an advice. Plus, I am a firm believer that no one has the right to be abusive towards another human being - a wife, a child, a friend, an employee, it doesn't matter. And most of the times the abuse is psychological and not physical. And it can happen both ways too. Sometimes the wives are the ones abusing the husbands. And I am not a psychologist nor a marriage counselor. I did study family and divorce laws but I am a corporate lawyer.
For physical abuse I have only one advice. Get help! Go look for a lawyer. And then the police. Find out what the abuse and divorce laws are in the country you're in. Ask for help at the consulate. Talk to a psychologist or a marriage counselor. Talk to your parents, siblings or your best friend. No one should put up with this case of abuse. In my book, physical abuse in unacceptable. Period.
Regarding the emotional abuse, the most common complaints I've been getting are that the husband is less caring, or that he won't let the wife move back home or that the works and travels too much and stopped caring about the family's needs.
First, if he's less caring, find a baby sitter and go out for a nice dinner. Talk to him. LISTEN to him. See if it is because he's having a hard time at work and/or adapting to the culture. I've seen this happen quite a few times and you know men, most of them don't like to talk about these issues. It could also be your attitude that's bugging him, if you're being very negative. Or not. Maybe your marriage wasn't that good to begin with and taking on this challenge is bringing you apart. once again I suggest a psychologist or a marriage counselor visit. Don't give up! Try to work things out. Be supportive.
Second, if you are thinking about moving back home you have to weight in the consequences. You need to figure out exactly why you want to move back. Why can't you suck it up for a while and stay? You may be damaging your husbands career if you demand that he leaves before his term is over. Can you do the super commute? Is your live going to be better living apart? Can you handle the distance and what comes with it? Are you going to be happier? I know a person who destroyed her husbands career by making him move back earlier. I talked about her before. Me, I decided not to move to Mexico because my husband and I did not want to compromise on the school for our kids. It wasn't an easy decision but we were on the same page. And we made this decision before the company spent a lot of money relocating us there. They spend the same amount of money to send us here then they would have spent to send us to Mexico. And we were up front about the school It did not come as a surprise for anyone. If you really want to give up and move back you may be jeopardizing your marriage. Once again, look for help. Talk to friends, family or a professional.
Third, your family moved and still you don't get to spend quality time because of the work schedule. You can't see the benefits of moving if you're alone most of the time. Plus, is the travel schedule only for work or is your husband connecting the weekends to those trips to golf or fish for example? Spending voluntary time alone, in my opinion, is a big red flag. Why would he want to do it? Who is he spending his time with? Once again, talk to a psychologist or counselor, a friend or family member. Someone you really trust. And a divorce attorney, just in case.
Fourth, your relationship isn't working because someone is cheating. Unfortunately this happens often. Once again, go get help. Lawyer, family and friends. An excellent lawyer, if I may say so.
I am a firm believer that everyone who moves overseas should learn what the divorce laws are in that country. As an attorney myself, I always live by: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst! If you can, draw an agreement before you even move. My main concern is regarding the kids custody. Some countries have crazy laws about who gets to keep the children and visitation rights.And some have good laws protecting the wife in case the men cheat. So it doesn't hurt knowing what you're getting yourself into.
I am also a firm believer in looking for help. Sometimes just venting things out to someone you trust and listening to them can be a huge help. And having and honest talk to your spouse afterwards can solve all the problems. You may be seen a problem where there's none. It could be that the whole relocation process is overwhelming.
If you really believe with all your heart that things aren't working out anymore and the situation won't get better or is unbearable, you should consider divorce. You need to go after your happiness and the happiness of your children. But go prepared. Know exactly what you're getting yourself into. And also know that it won't be an easy decision or an easy path. But long term it can be the best one. Everybody is entitled to and should be happy. And sometimes finding happiness is not easy. Be true to yourself. It sounds cliche - and it is - but listen to your heart.
More than anything, I believe in love. And in long term relationships. I know it is not easy to achieve it. It takes lots of will, patience, tolerance, work, trust, courage... (feel free to add up to this list!) Don't give up on your relationship so easily. It is worth fighting for a happy marriage. Bring back some happiness, fun, fire and excitement into your life. Get a family member or a friend to babysit and go for a second honeymoon or a weekend get-away only with your husband. Have the housekeeper stay overnight with the kids and spend a friday night at a hotel - make sure to order breakfast from room-service the next morning. If you're on a tighter budget send the kids to a sleepover, make a special diner, put on a new nightgown and turn your bedroom into a boudoir. Rekindle the romance. And after you take this first step, make sure to keep making time for each other. My husband and I had weekly lunches on Thursdays or Fridays. And a night out alone and one with friends. It brought us closer. Even now, with the super commute we always manage to find time for ourselves. We have lunch on Fridays. Don't give up!! There's nothing better and worth fighting for then to have a happy and united family!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Insurance Update
After months of waiting, the insurance company finally offered us a settlement.
They tried to tire us out and make us give up. But as I told you, I just did not give up. They asked us to fill many, many forms, asked for lots of pictures, had us search the internet for similar items and price them out and we also had to wait for the claims adjuster to come and access the damage before they made us an offer. And the underwriter kept asking for more and more. Eventually we just had to say enough is enough. We didn't hear back from them for a while.
Then, they had people come to fix some of the broken items, they dry-cleaned some clothes. They disappeared again.
Now they offered a cash settlement for our claim. it is not even close to what it would be to replace the items, but we took it. The last document, stating that we agree with the amount and to discharge them of any liability has been signed. Time to move on.
Lessons learned:
1) We won't buy the Set Insurance anymore - it is a sham.
2) I'll have the moving company sales rep put in writing everything they say the insurance will cover - besides the insurance contract. There's a big difference between what they promise when they want you to sign the contract and the actual contract;
3) I won't sign the contract thru Willis anymore. I'll ask the moving company for other options and I'll also demand to know what is the insurance company the brokerage firm is using and get their contact information.
I'll be better prepared for next time. And I hope you will too.
They tried to tire us out and make us give up. But as I told you, I just did not give up. They asked us to fill many, many forms, asked for lots of pictures, had us search the internet for similar items and price them out and we also had to wait for the claims adjuster to come and access the damage before they made us an offer. And the underwriter kept asking for more and more. Eventually we just had to say enough is enough. We didn't hear back from them for a while.
Then, they had people come to fix some of the broken items, they dry-cleaned some clothes. They disappeared again.
Now they offered a cash settlement for our claim. it is not even close to what it would be to replace the items, but we took it. The last document, stating that we agree with the amount and to discharge them of any liability has been signed. Time to move on.
Lessons learned:
1) We won't buy the Set Insurance anymore - it is a sham.
2) I'll have the moving company sales rep put in writing everything they say the insurance will cover - besides the insurance contract. There's a big difference between what they promise when they want you to sign the contract and the actual contract;
3) I won't sign the contract thru Willis anymore. I'll ask the moving company for other options and I'll also demand to know what is the insurance company the brokerage firm is using and get their contact information.
I'll be better prepared for next time. And I hope you will too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)