More Move Tips

I came across this link today and I thought it would be helpful. I try to cover this topic but there's so much to think about and so many things to do and think of that every little bit helps. I hope you enjoy it.

http://realestate.msn.com/10-worst-things-to-forget-before-a-major-move

Another Mission

This time I'm back from Brazil. I flew to Rio to give a presentation to a small group of expats. We talked about the move, their expectations, how to cope with all the new challenges, how to make things easier for the kids and lots of other issues.

I was shocked to find out how many wives had come across my blog. I never thought anyone would read it and now I'm realizing I've been touching other women just like me, with some of the same struggles and with the same will I have to make things work. 

Next month I'm going to New York to talk to another small group of women, 3 to be precise, who are considering wether or not an expat assignment is the best option for them and their families.

The hard part of my new oib is that at the end of the day the decision to move or not to move is a leap of faith. No one has control over the future. You'll never know beforehand if it's going to work or not. All we can do is to make a decision and hope for the best - and work to be happy while we're at it.

The best thing for me is that I've been meeting some amazing women! Women who just want to do what is best for their families. And I've been meeting some pretty awesome husbands too. Husbands who want to find a balance between career and family.

I'm also so lucky that my brother just moved to Florida and has been helping me with the kids while I travel. My plan is to stop traveling soon and start having small groups come to Florida for seminars. I can't wait to have the first group join me here! And for those who can't travel but still have many questions we can chat via skype.

Putting Out a Fire

I just got back from a huge mission in Mexico. I went there to help a family put together a "Super Commute" plan. Unfortunately things are not working so well for them. They were going thru everything I went thru and more. They've been there for a year and things went from bad to worse. By the way, I did got their permission for this post.The husband called me and asked me for a consultation.


We decided I should speak to his wife and take a good luck at the problem and come up with a solution. A few issues:

1.  They are on the verge of a divorce even tough they are still very much in love with one another;
2.  Their kids are miserable, having a hard time making friends, learning the language and adapting to the school. They are not doing good at the school there in spite of being Honor Roll students at their school here;
3.  The kids were excelling in sports but the lack of an organized league made they want to quit;
4.  The wife is always frustrated because she can never get anything done. The feeling of not accomplishing anything is just killing her;
5.  The language barrier has been very difficult to overcome.

That said, the husband couldn't be happier with his job in Mexico and with the possible outcomes after his term there is over. 

I told them how the super commute is working for us and gave them a few options of places to move to. Told them all the ups and downs and how this should only be a temporary solution. I also talked to them about how to communicate their decision to the company.

In the end I couldn't help but be sad. I did not have the same issues they did and seeing them go thru things that could be avoided was really tough. Plus, it is never easy to see a family falling apart. I really, really hope they heal, they find their fun, peace, joy and happiness back. They will have wonderful days ahead. As soon as they made up their mind and decided to put the plan in action they were much happier already. As if a big weight had been lifted of their backs. 

I wish them all the best in their new life with all my heart. Good Luck!!

The Super Commute Cost

The kids are on vacation and as usual I've been traveling with them and one of the trips we took was to Mexico City, for 5 days. And this time, I was there for work. I was invited to speak with a few HR Directors about the super commute.


Just like me, there are a few wives who are choosing not to move to Mexico City for many different reasons and HR Directors wanted my help guiding them thru this new reality. Here are a few points we discussed:

1.  Company Cost. It varies from company to company and the employee level. But the cost of the american school for 2 kids will offset the price of most flights to the United States. The company will save with the moving costs too - depending on the package which can include the costs to sell a house, it is not a bad deal for the company. 
2. Cost For The Employee. Not having to sell or rent the house, sell the car and fork out some of the costs that every move has is usually an attractive option for them. 
3. Location Matter. If an employee has to commute from a place where there are no daily flights and where the flight is more then 3 hours long I do not recommend this alternative in most cases.
4. Flexible Schedule.  The bosses have to understand the employees situation and accept the fact that sometimes he won't be in the office or attend some meetings because he will have to go home. And sometimes the employee won't be able to go home because of work and meetings. A balance need to be reached. Allowing the employee to work one day a week from home is a great compromise. If the job that needs to get done is done then there's no reason to worry.
5. Commitment From The Employee. He/she won't be able to call in sick every month. Understand that you've made an agreement with the company and that you're presence in the office is necessary. Changing the flight because there is a hurricane on the way is one thing but doing so because it's raining too much and you don't feel like driving to the airport is a no-no.
6. Jet Lag Effect. From our experience losing time going to Mexico works better than gaining time going to Mexico. In our experience it is a lot more tiring to fly from CA to Mexico City than it is to fly from TX or FL. The time of the flights also matter. 
7. Family Life. The kids won't become fluent in spanish but they also won't have to put up with the hardships of learning it. The family will keep their routine and it can be a good thing. There are some perks and some hardships on any move. Meeting the wives, knowing their needs and expectations is extremely important.
8. Health Plan. The companies will have to find a way to keep the employee enrolled on a helth plan in the US with the family and one in Mexico, for an emergency.
9. It Is Temporary. Always keep in mind that this deal won't last forever. 

We covered a lot more butI hope this help you with your considerations.

Update About The Schools

If you're moving to Sao Paulo, I highly recommend that you send your application to the Graded (www.graded.br/) as soon as you hear about the possibility of moving to Sao Paulo. Also apply to other schools, to be on the safe side.


There are many expats moving to Brazil right now and, even tough americans have priority on the wait list, the Graded is completely packed right now and the wait list is huge! I mean, HUGE! But don't hate Lisa, she is awesome and I know that if she could she would find a way to accommodate everybody. 


The other options:


There is the Chapel School (http://www.chapelschool.com/), a catholic school in Alto da Boa Vista. In my opinion is not as good as the Graded but it would be my second option.


Then there's PACA (http://www.paca.com.br/), a christian school. PACA was never an option for me. From what I've heard they are not accredited but still academically strong - the kids bring home lots of homework. 


Other then this, there are the British Schools:


St. Francis (http://www.stfrancis.com.br/) would be my first option out of the british schools. It is more low key than Saint Paul's and has more students who are native english speakers.


Last but not least, St. Paul's (http://www.stpauls.br/). This school has extremely rich brazilians as the vast majority of their students. Some are more equal than others there. The brazilians don't really mingle with the foreigners, plus parental involvement is discouraged. 


I wouldn't overlook the Swiss School (http://www.esbsp.com.br/). Actually, when we were about to move this was our third option. 


There are some bilingual schools. They are an option if your children speak portuguese or are young enough to learn it without impairing their learning.


As for the schools in Mexico, I still would rather not go there. Same old issues but more american parents and teachers complaining about it.


Good luck!!

TCK Video

I came across this video and just had to share it. When I asked my kids where's home they answered that they hope it will be here. Hope you enjoy it!  Where's home?

Schools Reviewed By Parents

Once again I need to recommend a website that I just found. It has parents reviews to many american and international schools around the world. Hope you enjoy it.

International Schools Review

Mea Culpa

It's been over a year since we started something that we thought would be our craziest idea ever, the super commute. And it's working so much better then we predicted. 


After my last visit to Mexico we both realized that we just wouldn't have been happier with me and the kids living there. I would be complaining about all the things you already know, would be frustrated and driving my husband crazy with all the drama because, let's face it, no husband can stand an unhappy wife complaining all the time. It would also not have been that easy on the kids. Here they are at a good school and practicing sports at a different level than what I've seen in Mexico City. My husband really enjoys going to the beach every weekend, breathing fresh air, not having to fight traffic. And the flights are not too bad at all. He spends less time flying then he would spend driving, so we end up spending more time with him. And quality time, which is more important.


So I need to make a mea culpa and say thank you to HR and the relocation company. Their F--k up was the best thing that happened to us. It wasn't easy to fix everything and to get to this point. But things are working out. It's not the ideal situation but we know it will end soon. We can't wait to be together again as a family, but in the mean time we're enjoying life as it is.

Repatriation

I've already talked about repatriation on my "Life After Expat" post. Once again I came across a great article that I felt like sharing with you.


Here is the link:

Global HR

Eternal Traveler Syndrome

I just read this 2 articles and felt the need to share it with you. One is in spanish and the other one is in english. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Raven.Org

Mutilingual Living