My Emotional Roller Coaster

If you've read some of my posts you've probably noticed I've been on an emotional roller coaster ride. There were times when I was very exited and there were times when I was on the verge of a nervous meltdown.


There is a lot of excitement when we face a big move. And there is also quite a bit of frustration. When we decided to move I first taught: Can I do it? Is the company going to help me? Is the school good? Is my husband going to have to travel a lot? Can I be happy in this new place? Since I answered yes to most of these questions, I knew it was time to move to the next step.


The next step is the look and see visit. Well, at least it should be. In my case it wasn't. We had to accept the assignment before I took the trip back in August. During the look and see trip you realize that you will have to compromise - sometimes a lot. There will be things that you taught you could never live without that simply won't be available at the new country. But if the company provides a car that can fit your whole family, a housing allowance that can get you a house equivalent to what you have and if you like the school it is all good.


To me, it was on this second step that things started to go wrong. First, I wasn't too happy with the school choices. Than, for us to rent a house the company had some requirements that no one knew - or wanted to - fulfill. And third, I was used to having 2 armored cars and we were being offered a non- armored car. Sounds silly but if you live in Sao Paulo or in Mexico City this is a necessity.


Transporting all of my pets was also a big deal. The H.R. in Mexico couldn't have cared less about the whole issue. But my pets are part of my family. Until we had this issue figured out I was very stressed out.


On top of that, my husband had to move to Mexico in the middle of September for what we taught was going to be a 45 to 60 day stay - 8 weeks - to get his visa done. It took him 90 days to get the visa ready!! 12 weeks. If you're by yourself taking care of your kids it is a long time!! Ok, I had the housekeeper taking care of the house, but I was the only authority n the house. And it gets really tiring being the sole person to discipline them. And they are kids, so the way they show that they're missing daddy is by acting up. And try keeping them entertained all the time....


Now add to this mix doing all the inspections on the car, painting the house and changing its carpet, canceling the bills, putting the apartment on the market for rent, selling the car, taking care of the paperwork to fire the maid, going to the school recitals and the other school functions and packing the house.  My friends were extremely nice and helped me keep it together. Particularly my best friend from childhood and my friends from Denmark.


So in a way I feel lucky my husband wasn't around. We could be sharing the burden but we could also be arguing a lot. It is inevitable to argue with your husband during the relocation process. I don't know a single couple who hasn't. My husband also took the time he was away to focus on his new job. It would have been hard for him to do so if he had to worry about the family's adaptation and all the other issues. Mine had to hire new staff, learn how to speak spanish and lots of other things. He also had to take care of our dog - remember I brought the dog to Mexico City in October?


Yes, it is not easy on us but it is not easy on our husbands either. And there is nothing like opening a bottle of wine to talk about all the issues we're having. Even if it's over the phone. It gets to be like a long distance date and you end up talking about the issues in a lighter way. So I strongly suggest you try it. If you don't drink wine try doing it with a cup of coffee or tea.


Now I'm sitting at our temporary house, with the whole family reunited - pets and all - waiting for my container to arrive  to our next house so I can make it home. And this is a nice feeling. I think my roller coaster ride is over.