Packing

I was just talking to my housekeeper and she was asking how many times I have moved since I got married. I moved 10 times in 12 years!! This is a lot!! Put this way, I feel like an expert!! She has been thru moves with me before. Right after she started working for me our container arrived from the US and she helped - a lot! - with the unpacking. Then we moved to a different building in our development. She helped pack and unpack. And now we are packing again! She is used to work for expat families so she knows exactly what to do.  And here are a few tips:

• Separate all the important documents you need to bring with you and put them in a safe place;
• Do the same with your jewelry;
• Pack your clothes and other personal items before the movers arrive;
• Remember that your container is not going to arrive for a while so think about what you will need and bring it - or send it on your air shipment;
•  Pack some toys, games, paper and crayons for the kids;
• You will need the charger for all your electronics - cell phone, DS or PSP, lap-top...
• Empty your safe and keep its key with you;
• Ask the movers to start packing the living room and dinning room first. The bedrooms and kitchen should always be the last places to be packed;
• Make sure that the movers will pack  your plasma TVs and pictures in a wood box;
• Keep an eye on the movers while they pack fragile items - and keep a closer eye when they unpack them.

Always ask your company to allow you to bring an air shipment and a large container - 40' High Cube. 

And one fact about moves: No matter how careful you are or how good the moving company is, things will break and/or disappear during the move. So make sure you list all the items that are important to you on the insurance paper and take pictures of them, if possible.

Now it is time for me to go supervise the movers.

If You Are An Expat Wife We Know You're A Special Woman!

This is for all the husbands out there!!


Your wife decided to go on an expat assignment?? Run to her favorite store right now and buy her a great gift!!

Actually first ask her and yourself if she really believe she can handle it. It is going to be a big roller coaster ride. Weight all the good and the bad that can come out of this experience. It can be fun but it can also be very hard. You will leave your old life behind... And what about the other members of the family. Can they handle it?


Moving abroad still is a family decision. Some families are adaptable and some are not! And if they are not don't even go there. Everybody will be miserable. Trust me, I've seen this happen many, many times.


Are you willing to learn at least the basics of another language? Are you willing to try different food? Deal with lack of security in some cities? Find out that the school curriculum is behind but realize that the kids are learning skills at the international school that they wouldn't be learning at their current school? Want to visit exotic places? Meet some other fun and adventurous people? Deal with packing and unpacking?


But be honest with yourself when you answer this questions. And be aware that by lying you will only hurt yourself and your family. It is better to say no to all this questions, stay where you are and be happy than to move and be unhappy. Lots of marriages will get dissolved along the way. But many other marriages will grow stronger - all this challenges also bring families together.


After the move, the husband has the new job, the kids have the new school but what about us?? What do we have??


Learning how to navigate this new life is not easy. We have to completely rely on other people - and it's not easy. It can be very frustrating! We don't know them so how can we trust their judgment.


We have lots of responsibilities. We need to cook - and the first visits to the supermarket are not easy -, find doctors, learn how to get to places and more... Not being able to speak the new language. Do you guys have any idea how hard this is?? We need to ask new friends and co-workers for help all the time.


I felt like I was completely stupid on my first visit to the supermarket. You can't order a quarter pound of turkey breast, for instance. You need to order things in grams. And until you get used to it, you will get as much or as little as the person who's cutting it wants you to buy. Milk is also sold in a different container, so is heavy cream. Little things like this can drive us crazy!! So we will need help.


So to all the husbands out there, be sympathetic to your wife and listen to her complaints without judging her. She's making a sacrifice so be patient and supportive and you will have a good time as an expat!

And Off We Go

So it began...


The movers are here and along with them came a feeling of emptiness and joy. Emptiness from all the memories and friends we are leaving behind. We did have some ups and downs during the 3 years we've been living here but we have the feeling that we came and we conquered!


And the joy is for what the future holds. It is time to just focus on what's ahead. And realize that more often than not change is for the best. It's the end of an era and the beginning of a new one.


We accomplished a lot in the last 3 years. The kids learned how to speak portuguese. The transition to spanish will not be so bad for them. And the hard work was rewarded with this new job. Of course going back to the US would have been better, but the way the economy is we can't complain. Once you become an expat you know you are taking chances and may not go back to your country of origin any time soon. And that's what happens most of the time. First, the company give your job away - they need to fill the position - and second, after you have international experience you feel like you deserve a promotion when you get back. And depending on the size and structure of your company, this jobs are not easy to get! So going on a second assignment may be a good option.


If your company is considering sending you overseas on a second term you should take it as a compliment. It is very expensive for companies to send people abroad. They have to pay for housing, schooling, car, language training, home leaves, tax consultant... But is it worth it? Only you would know.

Saying Goodbye

This has been a dreaded moment. We all know this is going to happen but I have a hard time doing so.


I've been in Brazil for 3 years. After our arrival we made some really good friends. We moved to a big development filled with expats. We moved in June, and this is winter time in Brazil. We had just had a very long winter in the US in 2007 and the kids were eager to enjoy the tropical weather. So, what was perceived as winter weather down here - 68 F and 20 C - was summer for my kids. And for the danish kids too. They were the first friends my kids made - all the brazilian kids were wearing sweatpants and sweatshirts and our kids were wearing bathing suits. So we ended up meeting the whole family and we all became friends. After 3 years I can say we became best friends. They told us about another american family that lived in the neighborhood and introduced us. More close friends. School started, more friends. And friends of friends also became friends.


Some have already left - Denmark, Rome, US... - and it was hard to say goodbye - but we were staying with other friends, so we kind of had our own support group. And now I am the one leaving... No friends in Mexico yet. And I do have a hard time saying goodbye.


So about a month and a half ago my friends started to organize some lunches. Once a week, at someone's house with food from their native country. It's been great! It's such a nice way to spend time together and enjoy each other's company. And it also take the pressure - and pain -of having a big Goodbye Party out of all of us. And we've been meeting at the pool every weekend so the kids can spend some time together.


When we start living the expat life we know that this will happen. And we also know that we won't see some friends ever again. And it is not easy to accept this fact. After all, this friends were like family during the time we've been here. We counted and depended on one another. 


Yes, we have e-mails, phones, facebook, but we also have busy lives. And I really try to keep in touch with friends. I am still very close to some friends who are already gone. I am not good at writing e-mails - I like to call my friends. There is something about listening to their voices... And with vonage and skype a phone call won't break the bank. 


The tears will start falling soon but we already have plans to meet in the future. A family vacation in Cancun, a Girls Trip to London, a wedding in New Zealand, Thanksgiving trip to New York... Let's just hope we can all make it!! 

Count Down and Check List

The movers are coming on Monday. We still don't have a house in Mexico - the relocation company hasn't closed the deal yet and God knows why! My husband still doesn't have his visa - even tough he's been in Mexico City since mid September and was told it would take between 30 and 45 days for it to be done. He doesn't have a letter allowing him to leave the country either - we don't want to start the visa process all over again because he can not get paid in Mexico until his visa is ready - but someone is working on that. I think. And we still don't have a final answer from the school we chose. Nice, uh?!


But the movers are coming on Monday... We also need the visa so our container is allowed to leave the country.


And now, a week away from moving to a hotel I have lots to do. From both ends: Sao Paulo and Mexico City. This are the things I need to get done:


From Mexico City:

•  Hire a driver to take us around when we first get there - not only traffic is crazy but I don't know the city yet;
• Buy a cell phone;
• Rent a house;
• Sign-up for school;
• Find  pediatrician, a family doctor and a dentist;
• LEARN HOW TO SPEAK BASIC SPANISH!!

From Sao Paulo:

• Sign out at school;
• Sell my car;
• Rent our apartment;
• Cancel the cell phone, phone, cable and internet services;
• ask for all the mail to be forwarded to my husband's work;
• Change the carpet in the apartment
• Find a handyman to do some touch-up in the apartment after the move is done;
• Get the medical records from the pediatrician;
• Separate all the passports and important documents;
• Get all the records for the cats so they can travel;
• Go to the vet to get the documents ready for the cats to travel 3 days prior to our departure;
• Fire the housekeeper;
• Confirm the reservations for plane tickets and the temporary housing;
• Pack the suitcases - clothes and toys;
• SAY GOODBYE TO GREAT FRIENDS!! Again!!

As you can see there is a lot to be done... I've being running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. I must have forgotten to put some items on the list, so feel free to add up. The level of stress is unbelievable. But I do need to look at the bigger picture.

The Cost of Living

Compared to where?


If I am going to a restaurant Mexico City is cheaper than the US, but if I am buying a car it is more expensive. Sao Paulo is still more expensive then both. For almost everything!


The cars in Mexico city cost about 25% more then they cost in the US, from what I've seen so far. In Brazil  cars cost at least double than what they cost in the US. But if you're going to armor your car it will cost you  50 thousand dollars in Mexico and 25 thousand dollars in Brazil, but as I said before, the level of armoring is different in the 2 countries. Some companies will buy you the armored car. Ask them!


Rent is also expensive in Mexico City. Most houses have 3 bedrooms and the average rent in Polancos, Reforma, Santa Fe, Interlomas and Bosques de Las Lomas is 6 thousand dollars. And this will get you a very nice house. It is really hard to find a house with four bedrooms.


Restaurants are cheaper and groceries are cheaper too. You will find very nice restaurants with food from all over the world at a very reasonable price. A meal for 2 adults and 2 kids with wine at a very nice restaurant in Polancos costed 75 dollars. Not bad! In Sao Paulo the same meal would have costed 200 dollars. So goodbye cost of living adjustment!


The electronics are also more expensive then in the US.


I can not compare the taxi fares. In Sao Paulo, just like in New York, there is a meter and you know exactly how much you should pay. In Mexico City you need to negotiate with the driver. And do not hail a cab on the street, it is very dangerous.


Clothes, from american brands, are also a bit more expensive in Mexico city, but at least you will find american brands.


I haven't gone to a hair salon there so I still don't know how the prices will compare. I'll let you know later.


I also still don't know how the utilities compare but I'll figure it out soon. I've asked the relocation company for this costs many, many times but I can not get an answer out of them. So I am a little concerned.


Oh, and last but not least, housekeeper and driver. I'll honestly feel embarrassed  to pay them so little. I used to pay the cleaning lady in the US 100 dollars to clean my house once a week, and she did it in 3 hours. Here the salary is 200 dollars for the whole month. Yeah, the whole month, 6 days a week!! Usually they are live-ins so you cover the cost of food, housing, etc, but still... The driver gets paid more, 450 dollars. He works from 6 a.m. until around 8 p.m....

Healthcare. What will I get?!

We all know it is very easy to buy medicine in Mexico without a prescription, but what is their healthcare like? I really don't know!


When we moved from the US to Brazil we knew we had access to the some of the best doctors and hospitals in the world. Hard to believe? Yes, Brazil is a third world country but when it comes to  medical care it is considered one of the best. This, of course, if you have a good coverage from your insurance company.


Most expats do get the best coverage from the best insures so we have access to Albert Eintein Hospital, Hospital do Coracao and Hospital Sirio e Libanes. Theses hospitals are just as good as Cedars Sinai, Johns Hopkins Hospitals or the Mayo Clinic. In fact most of the Brazilian doctors from the hospitals above do some training at the american hospitals I just mentioned. And yes, most doctors do speak english. And you will find good doctors by asking your friends and co-workers.


The doctors in Brazil do take their time during your consultation. The average consultation is 45 minutes long. They examine you from head to toe and are not afraid to ask for some exams - like ultra-sound, MRI, blood test - if they think it is necessary. And the insurance companies have to pay for them. It's the law. If you are pregnant here you will have a 3D ultra-sound every time you visit your doctor's office. They have all the equipment there. A lot different then what I had in the US. We do have to pay for all the visits and it is expensive - around 200 dollars - but the insurance company will reimburse us.


While I was in Mexico City I did take a tour at one of their top hospitals, ABC. I wasn't particulary impressed by it. My mexican friends - for now I only have about 10 - get their medical treatment done in the US because they work for multinationals and have health insurance with international coverage. They all believe that american hospitals and doctors are much better. But there are good and bad doctors everywhere. I just hope I am lucky enough to find good doctors in Mexico.

Finding a Gas Station

So, the car is bought. Now where do we fill the tank??


There aren't that many gas stations in Mexico City. It seems like there is only one chain who has the monopoly, Pemex. The price of gas is not too bad, compared to the price in Brazil and in the US.


You feel like always need to stop by to fill your tank when you see a gas station because you never know when you will run out of gas and where the next gas station will be. In Sao Paulo there are gas stations everywhere. Just outside of our development there are two - one of a brazilian chain called Ipiranga and one of the Shell chain. 


I counted only 6 gas stations when I was there - 1 in Polancos, 1 in Reforma, 1 in Santa Fe, 1 near ASF school and 2 near Six Flags. That's it. 


The driver told us to always keep a full tank. The relocation company agent also told me that there weren't too many gas stations out there too. I hope I am wrong and there are more gas stations out there that I just haven't found...

Buying a Car

Armored or non-armored??


Yes, this is a weird question but when you live in cities like Sao Paulo and Mexico City this is the first question that comes to mind. If you're going to buy an armored car you will need an SUV. If it is non-armored, it doesn't matter. You can buy a sports car, a mini-van, a coupe, whatever suites you best.


The reason for the armored SUV is the weight. It weights a ton! Even tough the materials have been getting lighter, the armoring still weights a lot. When you're buying an armored car you need it to have the whole cockpit and the tires armored. It is better if the car does not have a sunroof because this can be a soft point. And the suspension needs to be able to handle the weight, and this is why a 4x4 SUV is your best option.


There are different levels of armoring and the higher the number, the more protection you get. In Brazil the norm is a level III. In Mexico they use levels V and VI. They have bigger machine guns in Mexico so the armoring has to be heavier.


Your car will also need a big engine so you can drive fast and be able to escape if necessary. SUV again. Taking some Defensive Driving Classes is a must, whether your car is armored or not.


Buying an armored car is like buying insurance. You buy it not to use it. But you something happens you're glad you have it. A couple of friends had some incidents in Sao Paulo and it was very nice to have the armored cars.  I've been driving one here in Sao Paulo. It does make me feel safe, but I'm always alert. Now we have a decision to make. 

The Transition For The Kids

You must be wondering how are the kids during this time. I know I've been talking a lot about the pets...


The kids are very excited!! They've been missing their dad - they haven't seeing him in 5 weeks - but they are looking forward to Mexico City. They had a hard time adjusting to Brazil, but now that they've done it before they think they are ready to do it again.


Their main concern is the school. They ask me all the time "are we going to an american school, mommy"? And since the answer is yes they are ok with it. They also want to know if there will be other expats on the development we are moving to. So we are looking for a house on places where there is an expat community. 


Of course I don't complain - too much - in front of them. Sometimes I can't help myself.  But most of the time I talk to them about how good this move will be for the whole family. And how much closer we're getting to the US. They always tell me they want to move back to the US some day. And we do too. So it's all good!


I have a don't ask, don't tell policy, also. If they don't ask me questions about the move, I don't bring up the subject. My experience with them is that when they want to know something they'll ask. But sometimes I need to talk to them about certain things.


Last Sunday I took them out to a nice restaurant for lunch. As we were there I put a calendar over the table and we discussed the dates of the move. I told them when the movers are going to come, when dad is arriving, when we're moving to the hotel, when the last day of school is and when we will be arriving in Mexico. Putting it there, in front of them, made them feel more at ease. 


Keeping our kids happy is our main goal. And living overseas is a great adventure for them. And also an opportunity for learning and growth. If they are happy, we're happy. And this is all that matters.

Taking the Kids and the Cats to Mexico

It's been a couple of weeks since my last post and the reason is that nothing relevant happened during this time. Except for more planning.

I'm working on getting things ready here in Brazil and so far I have the moving scheduled and I'm trying to buy the plane tickets. Remember I have to take 3 cats along with me!! In-cabin. We're waiting for the airlines confirmation on this issue.


My silly husband just wanted me to take care of the whole move and he would just come to Brazil one day and leave to Mexico the next day with a child and a pet. This is not happening! He needs to come one week before the move to help out with the kids, the packing and all the other things that come up when one is moving to another country. So, in order for him to come we had to find a place for my dog to stay at while my husband is traveling. And by this time you already know me and know that the average kennel just will not make the cut. My husband's assistant asked around and found a place for my 4 legged baby to stay. There is a hosting facility where a couple take pets in for long stays. The pets have a big yard to play in and they sleep in the office rather than in cages. Not the ideal situation but my husband will visit the place and let me know of his impressions. Here in Sao Paulo my baby stays with a lovely lady called Christiana. She has a small farm where the dogs can run around free. She cares for them as a grandmother. They can sleep in bed with her if they want to. She also adds carrots to their meals and gives them lots of love... She's the best!


Back to the cats, I found out that I am not allowed to bring more than 2 pets at once to Mexico. And also most airlines only allow 2 pets per cabin. So my husband, one cat and one of the kids are flying one day and I am flying the next day with one child and two cats.


There are a few reasons why the cats have to fly in-cabin with us:
1) The age - they are all around 10 years old;
2) One of them has heart murmur;
3) The others are persian cats. Persian cats are just like dogs with short noses. They have difficulties controlling their body temperature during flights. All airlines have some kind of ban on short-nosed breeds. I am not a vet so I don't know the exact reasons why. But I love my pets and I am not willing to take any chances!!


Oh, and we're still homeless in Mexico. There is no solution for the house yet. The landlords won't provide a receipt and our employer requires one. So we'll see how this goes...




P.S. - I just got an e-mail from Delta Airlines confirming that the cats can fly in-cabin with us. We will have to fly to Atlanta and then Mexico City. But my kitties will be safe and sound! Thank you, Delta!!