This has been a dreaded moment. We all know this is going to happen but I have a hard time doing so.
I've been in Brazil for 3 years. After our arrival we made some really good friends. We moved to a big development filled with expats. We moved in June, and this is winter time in Brazil. We had just had a very long winter in the US in 2007 and the kids were eager to enjoy the tropical weather. So, what was perceived as winter weather down here - 68 F and 20 C - was summer for my kids. And for the danish kids too. They were the first friends my kids made - all the brazilian kids were wearing sweatpants and sweatshirts and our kids were wearing bathing suits. So we ended up meeting the whole family and we all became friends. After 3 years I can say we became best friends. They told us about another american family that lived in the neighborhood and introduced us. More close friends. School started, more friends. And friends of friends also became friends.
Some have already left - Denmark, Rome, US... - and it was hard to say goodbye - but we were staying with other friends, so we kind of had our own support group. And now I am the one leaving... No friends in Mexico yet. And I do have a hard time saying goodbye.
So about a month and a half ago my friends started to organize some lunches. Once a week, at someone's house with food from their native country. It's been great! It's such a nice way to spend time together and enjoy each other's company. And it also take the pressure - and pain -of having a big Goodbye Party out of all of us. And we've been meeting at the pool every weekend so the kids can spend some time together.
When we start living the expat life we know that this will happen. And we also know that we won't see some friends ever again. And it is not easy to accept this fact. After all, this friends were like family during the time we've been here. We counted and depended on one another.
Yes, we have e-mails, phones, facebook, but we also have busy lives. And I really try to keep in touch with friends. I am still very close to some friends who are already gone. I am not good at writing e-mails - I like to call my friends. There is something about listening to their voices... And with vonage and skype a phone call won't break the bank.
The tears will start falling soon but we already have plans to meet in the future. A family vacation in Cancun, a Girls Trip to London, a wedding in New Zealand, Thanksgiving trip to New York... Let's just hope we can all make it!!
2 comments:
This is one of the hardest parts of the expat lifestyle. I've noticed that many people start to withdraw just before a move, whether subconsciously or not — that final break is just too painful to be faced head-on. We had a huge goodbye party when we left Singapore, and it was emotionally draining. All the kids (and a few of the adults) were crying by the end. I quite like your idea of several smaller goodbye gatherings. It's much gentler on the psyche!
It really is gentler. It doesn't feel like I'll never see them again. It feels like we're strengthening a bond that is already tight. I just think that my friends will be really bored when the parties are over.
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