Worst or Best Thing Ever??

As we are getting ready to move again I'm starting to miss the Super Commuter life. When we decided to live as super commuters we didn't have much time to think it thru but I had enough time to think of all that could go wrong. 

I only knew one couple here in FL and they travel a lot. So if I had a serious emergency I might not have had anyone to help me out. Luckily, we had no serious emergency. I only had to rush to the hospital once because my daughter cut her finger and needed 10 stitches - I was able to handle it by myself - just barely.

What if my husband couldn't come home every weekend? He was more than constant with his traveling. Yes, he got tired but being able to work from home on Fridays and pick-up the kids from school made it all worth it for him. He only stayed there for 2 weekends. During a 2 1/2 year frame this is not bad. One time it was for work and another because the weather here was so bad I asked him not to fly. - it was a good idea because the airport closed before his normal flight landed and all the flights from Mexico landed in Dallas. He says the worse part of all this traveling was going thru passport control and all the other long lines at both airports. Flying to NY now is a breeze.

I also thought he could get a lover over there. No, he is not that kind of guy, but my experience is that they never are, until they do it. He did not. He kept busy at work and taking care of himself. He had to get his groceries and do his laundry. He had people cleaning his apartment and doing his dishes everyday. He worked out every morning. He studied a lot. The one thing he didn't do? He didn't go out with co-workers often. He was on a different schedule than everybody else. Mexicans have lunch around 2 pm. My american husband wakes up at 5:30 am so he needs his lunch at noon. So he was always at the cafeteria by himself. Drinks after work? Almost never. A few times he did go out for drinks but not often at all. This made me feel good, I can't deny it.

Not having enough time together was another concern. We didn't have quantity but we did have quality. We made the best of what we had. We have an amazing baby-sitter who comes in once a week so we can have a date. We went out to many different restaurants and some times we would just bring a picnic basket to the beach and enjoy the sunset. We really made the best of our time together. And he was also really involved in our kids lives. On Fridays he would always drive them to school, pick them up and take them to swim practice. He would take the kids to breakfast on Saturdays mornings and this became "their thing". Our family life has never been better.

So do I recommend the Super Commute? Absolutely! I thought it would be a disaster but it ended up being the best thing ever to us! When people ask me if they should do it I say yes, you should. You, your husband and your kids need to be committed to make it work. It wasn't easy at all but it was great. We will look back at it in the future and miss it a lot.

Renting Our Apartment in Sao Paulo, Again

When it rains, it pours, right??!! We are in the beginning of our moving process to NY. So far, I am waiting for my husband's company to schedule our look-and-see trip. Then I got the news that our tenants in Sao Paulo are getting transferred too. Oh, the expat life... Never a dull moment...

So we are thinking about selling or renting the apartment there. We have absolutely no plans of moving back to Brazil. Five years ago we thought the apartment was going to be a good investment, but now it is time to cash out and keep our investments home, in the US. The only thing making us keep the investment there is that we will be overtaxed to repatriate our money. Brazil really overtax everything!

Anyway, if anyone is interested in renting a beautiful apartment at Villaggio Panamby, let me know.

Here is the link to our place:


Villaggio Panamby 

Not Moving???

We got the job offer!! It is now official. We're moving to NY. So I told the kids the decision is now final just to hear my son tell in, in a very matter of fact way, "Mom, I am not moving!" Whaaaat??? Of course, it all happens on a Monday. No Dad in sight.

I asked him why not and he tells me that NY is not that far and Dad can keep on commuting. He likes Florida, his friends and, most of all, his swim team and the fact that it is January and he is still swimming outdoors. He had so many good reasons to stay I just couldn't argue. I really did not know what to say... It is harder for me to convince him to move because I would also love to stay. And he knows it.

A few minutes later I went back to him with a suggestion. Why don't we go to NY soon, during the week so he can visit a few schools and swim clubs in the areas we are considering moving to? This way he can pick his 3 favorite schools, swim clubs and neighborhoods. I told him I would focus on looking for houses in the areas he liked the most. He was pretty happy with the suggestion and immediately agreed to it. I also told him we will be going there a few times before we move. We may even go to a swim meet over there to see if he can make some friends before the move.

Digging a little deeper I found out that one of his issues is that we almost always move during summer. Therefore, when we move all the kids in the neighborhood are traveling or in camps. It is hard for them to make friends during this period of time and both my kids feel very lonely. If we can help them make friends before the move so they don't feel like complete strangers when we do move, it will be wonderful.

Growing up is not easy. Growing up relocating every 2 years must be really hard. But this time, the transition will be as smooth as possible. I'll do my best to make sure of it!!

2013

Happy New Year!!!!

2013 will be another year of changes. We will move, yet agin. No, we still don't have the final offer but my hubby will start working in NY by February 1st. I'm still getting used to the idea of the move but I'm less in denial now. It is a pattern to me, first comes denial, then acceptance. 2013, bring it on!! I know this will be a wonderful and crazy year!

May 2013 be a year that brings lots of love, light and joy to all of us!!

Broken Heart

We've been telling the kids about the possible move. Possible because there are other possibilities: Finding a job with another company in FL, finding a job with the same company in FL or continue the super commute.

My daughter has a pretty good attitude regarding the move as long as we move somewhere where it snows during winter. She was so young when she left the northeast that she can't remember and would love to start having, once again, White Christmas.

My son, on the other hand... He is older and his memories are of leaving his friends behind. And he keeps asking me to stay. Telling me he doesn't want to do it again. Heart breaking, isn't it??!!

It took him two years to adjust. And now, another move. He keep wondering: when is it going to end?? Is it ever going to end?? As the sole parent handling this discussions I get really anxious, hoping for HR to have mercy and make a decision. I also can't help but wonder: Why don't this questions arise during the weekend, when his dad is around?? What is the right answer to give to my son?? What will benefit him the most - super commute or another move??

Decisions, decisions, decisions... It is that time of my life again...

Limbo

Once again we're at that time when things are getting decided and we have no control over what will be offered to us - I call it "Limbo". And, boy, it is not easy being in limbo. Even being like, the 10th time, I'm still not used to it. But this time I must admit I'm a little bit less anxious. 

The problem with being in limbo is that I have no idea where and when we'll end up next. I do have an idea but I'm not sure yet. And I also have no idea how long limbo will last.

Yes, we narrowed down our options - New York or Warsaw. Maybe Dubai or Tokyo. Not Athens or Sao Paulo, anymore. I also decided on my time frame to move - June or July because I won't take the kids out of school before the end of the school year. Of course, this can all change, although I really hope it doesn't. See, this is how limbo feels like: uncertainty, my world is upside down.

On top of all this, there will be the actual job offer. Will the job be good? Will the compensation be good? Will the career plan change? Will my husband be happy with the job? Questions, questions and more questions...

I'm already thinking of the logistic of the move, particularly, transporting our pets and finding a good school for the kids.

It is breaking my heart thinking that if we move to NY we will have to sell our home and move to a much smaller apartment or move to the suburbs where the commute will be around 45 minutes each way. But at least I'll be in or near NYC. And this is pretty good! I love NY! I just don't love the cost of living there. 

If we move to Warsaw we'll keep our home as a home base but I'll need to find someone to take care of it for us. This way I'll have sunny Florida to come back to mid winter, when it gets extremely cold over there. It will be nice to tour Europe with the kids. I'll also be close to some friends. So it won't be bad.

As you can tell I am not anxious - or so I claim - but my head  is spinning. For a control freak, like me, there is nothing worse than this phase we're in right now. The one thing I know for sure is that the move will be for the best. It always is - this is my mantra and I'm sticking with it! Time to wait...

Where to, now??

As I've mentioned before, my husbands term is coming to an end. Many people on his company want him to stay in Mexico but the company is going thru some changes and we feel that now it is time for him to find a different job so we can all live under the same roof again. Hubby is getting tired of traveling every week and our little girl has been begging him to spend more time at home.

After communicating our decision to the key people a few positions have been thrown out as possibilities. Staying in Florida is what we really want. There is a possibility for us to stay here but there are many other possibilities too.

So far they've mentioned New York - not bad-, Athens, Dubai, London, Warsaw and Tokyo. Why can't Sidney be on the list??? Or Paris??? And, to stir the pot a little bit more, there's another company after my hubby desperate to bring him back to Sao Paulo. 

No, I'm not moving back to Sao Paulo. Been there, done that. Plus, the wait list at the Graded is still huge.

I started doing some research on the other places and Tokyo is not an option for me at this time. I'm not leaving my pets in quarantine. If it wasn't for the pets I would love to move there.

So I got my work cut out for me in the next few days. Researching the places and trying to gather some important information. Schools, cost of living, what I'll need to live there, what I'll miss, etc...

The one thing I can count on is that these type of decisions usually take a long time to be made. This is a good thing so I don't need to worry about the kids changing school in the middle of the school year. It is nice to have time on my side for a change!

More Move Tips

I came across this link today and I thought it would be helpful. I try to cover this topic but there's so much to think about and so many things to do and think of that every little bit helps. I hope you enjoy it.

http://realestate.msn.com/10-worst-things-to-forget-before-a-major-move

Another Mission

This time I'm back from Brazil. I flew to Rio to give a presentation to a small group of expats. We talked about the move, their expectations, how to cope with all the new challenges, how to make things easier for the kids and lots of other issues.

I was shocked to find out how many wives had come across my blog. I never thought anyone would read it and now I'm realizing I've been touching other women just like me, with some of the same struggles and with the same will I have to make things work. 

Next month I'm going to New York to talk to another small group of women, 3 to be precise, who are considering wether or not an expat assignment is the best option for them and their families.

The hard part of my new oib is that at the end of the day the decision to move or not to move is a leap of faith. No one has control over the future. You'll never know beforehand if it's going to work or not. All we can do is to make a decision and hope for the best - and work to be happy while we're at it.

The best thing for me is that I've been meeting some amazing women! Women who just want to do what is best for their families. And I've been meeting some pretty awesome husbands too. Husbands who want to find a balance between career and family.

I'm also so lucky that my brother just moved to Florida and has been helping me with the kids while I travel. My plan is to stop traveling soon and start having small groups come to Florida for seminars. I can't wait to have the first group join me here! And for those who can't travel but still have many questions we can chat via skype.

Putting Out a Fire

I just got back from a huge mission in Mexico. I went there to help a family put together a "Super Commute" plan. Unfortunately things are not working so well for them. They were going thru everything I went thru and more. They've been there for a year and things went from bad to worse. By the way, I did got their permission for this post.The husband called me and asked me for a consultation.


We decided I should speak to his wife and take a good luck at the problem and come up with a solution. A few issues:

1.  They are on the verge of a divorce even tough they are still very much in love with one another;
2.  Their kids are miserable, having a hard time making friends, learning the language and adapting to the school. They are not doing good at the school there in spite of being Honor Roll students at their school here;
3.  The kids were excelling in sports but the lack of an organized league made they want to quit;
4.  The wife is always frustrated because she can never get anything done. The feeling of not accomplishing anything is just killing her;
5.  The language barrier has been very difficult to overcome.

That said, the husband couldn't be happier with his job in Mexico and with the possible outcomes after his term there is over. 

I told them how the super commute is working for us and gave them a few options of places to move to. Told them all the ups and downs and how this should only be a temporary solution. I also talked to them about how to communicate their decision to the company.

In the end I couldn't help but be sad. I did not have the same issues they did and seeing them go thru things that could be avoided was really tough. Plus, it is never easy to see a family falling apart. I really, really hope they heal, they find their fun, peace, joy and happiness back. They will have wonderful days ahead. As soon as they made up their mind and decided to put the plan in action they were much happier already. As if a big weight had been lifted of their backs. 

I wish them all the best in their new life with all my heart. Good Luck!!